Monday, November 17, 2014

Dear Daughter

It's been awhile!
As always I've been busy working away and trying to get things ready for baby E's impending arrival.
5 weeks to my due date!
I wouldn't be upset if she wanted to come a bit ahead of schedule though and join us before Christmas.

I thought I'd try to sneak in at least one more Dear Daughter before she arrives. I anticipate the next few weeks being a little bit hectic what with finishing up work (and trying to max out on hours for the sake of my bank account and my mat leave pay), getting all of the final things we need (changing pad, bassinet and bath tub - both borrowed - a carrier wrap for stroller-less walks, a diaper bag, etc etc), and also getting ready for the holidays.
So hopefully I'll get a few more posts in before Dec 22 (or whenever she decides to make her outside world debut).

Dear Daughter,

We are starting to get really excited about meeting you. 
You're due date is quickly approaching and you are also quickly running out of room in my belly. 
Your movements are way bigger now. Not so many kicks and punches but lots of rolls. My entire stomach will lurch from one side to the other when you do those big movements.
I'm not sure, but you may have dropped. 
Suddenly my bladder feels less reliable when I'm standing. 
Peeing my pants is a real and genuine concern.

As excited as I am to get to hold you and smell your sweet little head (don't babies' heads always smell so sweet?) I'm going to miss the selfishness of carrying you with me, feeling you start to stir and letting your dad know when to feel your gymnastics routine, the now all-too familiar pulsing when you've got the hiccups. 

Lately I catch myself sitting in your room and picturing you in there.  
Today I caught your dad nesting - he washed all of your blankets and sleepers and onesies and coordinated your outfits to your hats and socks/booties for when we bring you home from the hospital. 
God I love your dad. 

Tonight is my last night shift at work (!!!!) for 10 months.
Then I'll be on permanent night shift duty... unless you like to sleep. I hope you like to sleep.
Then I have 10 more shifts before I start my maternity leave on December 8th. 
The countdown is on!

Since this is likely the last time I'll write to you before you arrive, thank you for such an easy & enjoyable pregnancy.
The insane heartburn I could have done without, same goes for the occasional super uncomfortable jimmy leg, but I'd do it all over again. 

I'm going to miss looking down and seeing you move across my belly and feeling your movements (maybe not so much the kicks to the ribs) but I can't wait to look down and see your sleeping face. 
And your crying face. 
Let's be serious, you're going to cry. Probably a lot. 
And if I get frustrated with you, I don't mean it. 
I'll still love your crying face. 

Your dad and I are nervous about me going into labour.
He's worried he'll be at work and have to rush home. He's so afraid that he'll miss your birth.
I'm nervous about the entire process, truth be told. 
I'm afraid I won't recognize labour when it starts (sounds dumb but I like to worry. Let's hope you don't get my worrying genes).
But we both know that it ends with us becoming parents. 
Decent parents, hopefully. 
We'll try our best to give you everything you could possibly need and to keep you happy.

Except a hamster/gerbil/rodent-type pet.
We already decided that you have a cat and a dog and therefore don't need another stinky little pet. 
Sorry if you had your heart set on one.

See you on the outside, little girl!

You have a lot of people anxiously waiting to meet you.
We love you very very much.

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