Sunday, March 27, 2011

Open Letter: To Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,
My name is Jamie and I have to say I'm a fan. I love what you do. The four seasons you bring us here in Canada are beautiful and really give us an appreciation of nature.
I love seeing the flowers bloom in the spring and the scent of grass and flowers so intense you have trouble breathing. I love sitting on my balcony in heat so heavy you can feel it in the summer. Weird but I do. I love watching the leaves change colour in the fall and the smells of fall. Kind of like camp fires. I also like winter - especially the first big snow fall of the year, where the streets and tree branches are blanketed in sparkling white. I don't admit this often, but I even kind of like being so cold my cheeks turn bright red. Makes me appreciate coming home to my warm bed that much more.
Now, that being said, enough is enoug.
I don't know what kind of game you're playing here but it's gotta stop.
It's almost April.
The first official day of spring has come and gone and I'm pretty sure if I were to look outside right now I would still see ice on the street. I know this because I just got back from the grocery store and had to wear a hat and my hood.

Remember easter weekend last year?
What was it, 28 degrees?
I'd like to renew my subscription to that year, please.

Yes, I know easter is not for another month but ...really?

I want this:

I understand that we've been messing with you, and I get that you might be mad about this 'global warming' thing and the carbon footprints we're all leaving but I'm making an effort to save water, save electricity, and do my part.
I even burnt my hair on a candle last year during Earth hour, all in the name of turning off the lights and doing my part for the environment.
I recycle. I reuse! I reduce!
I do my part for you, I think it's only fair you repay the favour here.
My mental health, my livelihood, and my tan all depend on it.

You're a doll, Ma Nature and I really don't want there to be bad blood between us.
So please, for my sake, and for the sake of your loyal fans....
put an end to this whole Winter nonsense and bring on Spring once and for all.

You're #1 fan,


No comments:

Post a Comment