Saturday, June 1, 2013

Detoxing Home & Body

In my bid to redo our bedroom I finally got around to putting some pictures on the wall above our bed.
I went to Ikea and - after trying to make a budget version myself - caved and bought the framed Picasso sketches that I love so much.
I then went on a bit of a Picasso binge.

The quality of my pictures isn't so good because of the glare from the window but this is what the Ikea picture looks like:
In other news, I've been having some stomach issues off and on for awhile. I can't pinpoint what exactly it could be that makes me so bloated and uncomfortable.
It happened again today seemingly out of the blue.
I get bloated to the point where I convince myself I've been pregnant for 3 months and am just starting to show.
It's bad.
And it's uncomfortable. When the bloating hits I have to lie on my stomach or with a pillow pressed up against my midsection just for some relief.
So I decided that I would try something my best friend tried a few times before she conclusively knew she was gluten intollerant:
The Brown Rice Cleanse.
I don't think I'm gluten intollerant. I eat a lot of bread. And generally there are no ill side effects. I don't think I'm lactose intollerant either cause I eat a fair bit of cheese, again, with generally no ill side effects.
But I feel like dairy might be the culprit...
Anyway, the cleanse works like this:
for one week (7 long days) you eat only foods that are gentle on your digestive tract which gives your body a chance to heal any damage done by foods that don't agree with you.
Sounds like a fantastic plan.
But basically you have to eat the most boring diet - brown rice, vegetables (but no corn or mushrooms and I also saw one incredibly restrictive diet plan that said to cut out tomatoes too but I'm going with the less harsh plan because if I followed the serious one I'd either die or John would find me hiding under the bed eating a 20 lb wheel of brie and then what good is the cleanse?), fruits (no bananas, no citrus other than lemons and limes)... know what?
Computers have the copy and paste function for a reason
"What’s allowed on the diet?

1)Brown rice, preferable organic
2)Fresh vegetables, any kind you like, lightly steamed. Onions are especially good for cleansing and are very sweet and tasty when steamed. Try a plate full with some fresh garlic.
3)Fresh fruits, any kind, except oranges and orange juice. With fruits and vegetables, it is best to consume only organic produce whenever possible. However, as this is not always possible, buy in season and locally grown fruits and vegetables, and wash them thoroughly befreo eating. When buying dred fruit, purchase only unsulphured dried fruit.
4)Fresh garlic and ginger
5)Cayenne pepper and/or non-salt herbal seasoning (e.g. "Vegit")
6)Vegetable and fruit juice – the best is fresh pressed from a juicer, otherwise juices with no additives, sugar, chemicals, and little or no salt (can be found in health food stores)

7) Other foods allowed are lentils, rice cakes, sesame seeds, ocean-going fish, free-range chicken, humus, tofu, and tempeh
8)Absolutely no shellfish (i.e. shrimp, oysters, scallops, clams, lobster, etc.) or catfish "
In a nutshell, I'm pretty sure the first few days, if not the entire week, are going to be miserable.
But I want to fix this bloating and find out what's wreaking havoc on my digestive system.
Here's hoping by the time next Saturday rolls around I look & feel like this:

Even though I can guarantee with almost 100% certainty I will look and feel more like this:

Mainly because caffeinated beverages are a big no-no and coffee is my life force.

Also the girls at Sugar Mountain are going to wonder what happened to me.
I'm almost a regular there.
Wish me luck.
I'm pre-writing a lot of this week's posts because otherwise I think if they're written in the moment they'll be very angry.
If you follow me on twitter get ready - I anticipate running the gamut on emotions this week.
 Desperate, bored, rejuvenated, clean, bargaining.
But probably a big dose of hangry.

No comments:

Post a Comment